Tired

I've been feeling very tired the last 4 days after chemotherapy and have had neither the inclination nor energy to update the blog. It's an awful feeling to be unable to carry on with routine stuff. Sitting down to bible study, I would constantly be yawning! Last night I finally realised that I was hung over from sedatives!

My oncologist had prescribed some Ativan tablets to help me sleep better since sleeplessness was a bit of a problem after cycle 1. The pills come in tiny little blue tablets of 0.5mg and I was to take 2 tablets, 2 hours before bed time. I slept well each night (10 hours) but during the day I was feeling extremely tired and sleepy as well. I would take an afternoon nap and still feel tired!

Well, I skipped the tablets last night and had 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I woke up at 3 am from a dream of my father, who passed away in 1971 when I was 6+. Even now, 37 years later, I still miss him. I thought of what it would be like for my kids and I cried to the Lord to prolong my life.

Psalm 18: 1-6 I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies. The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. Praise the Lord!

Reuben woke up then and we spent about an hour talking, sharing, crying. Then we slept - I drifted in an out of sleep a few times. At least the dullness of mind was gone, despite being sleepy, I was able to attend church service again.

Today was a busy day. My friends Chiew Wan, Angeline and Nam from church came to visit. Angeline had bought me an eyebrow pencil and taught me how to draw it! Hazel, Reuben's colleague and our family friend came after, then my brother Harry came to spend some time with us.