Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Chemo Cycle 2

Today was cycle 2 of chemo. I was getting ready to go for my chemo treatment when Reuben and I decided my straggly hair looked too bad. He decided to help me shave it all off. At first the long hair kept getting jammed and stuck in the shaver. After some trial and error, we used scissors to cut it short before shaving. Here is a photo of me bald. (if you click on the photo, you get a bigger image).

My kids were very affected by my baldness even though we had allowed the hair loss to happen gradually. I told them it means the chemo is working because it kill the cancer cells as well as fast growing good cells. And we can look forward to the hair growing again.

As a result I was 15 minutes late getting to the doctors. These 2 show me dressed up and ready to go out. Quite a cool hat - my sister Lilian got it from the US and my sister-in-law's mum carried it and a few other pieces back for me. Lilian knows I like neutral colours. I dressed the hat up with my own scarf. Some other patients at the hospital still stared, so i just smiled at them.

I had my blood test done first then waited for the results and had my consultation with the doctor. Praise the Lord, the tumor has definitely shrunk. It was very hard and quite defined when I was first diagnosed. Now it is more diffuse and softer to the touch. The lump (consisting 4 smaller tumors close together) measured about 6x7cm then and now it is about 3x3.5cm. The lymph nodes have also shrunk! God is gracious to me.

As the blood test was good, i was able to proceed with the drug infusion - same drugs as the first time but dosage of carboplatin was recalculated based on blood test. Dr Karmen Wong asked me again about the side effects I experienced and then prescribed some medicine to control them and make me feel even more comfortable.

Chemo started at 10.45 am and lasted till 2.20pm. By about 12.30pm I started to have hunger pangs. Managed to contact Vera and ask her to bring me some food when she came to pick me. Thank you Vera! After getting home I had some salad and fried rice before having a nap. I felt really tired - didn't sleep so well last night.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

For This I Have Jesus

A few days ago, I was thinking of my secondary school teacher who was cynical about Christianity. She loved to say it is a religion that promised "a pie in the sky when you die".

I have to tell you though that she was mistaken. The eternal life that Jesus promises is for now AND for the future. A song I learnt recently puts this truth beautifully - everything i experience in life the good and bad, i share it with Jesus. Isn't that great? I pray that I may be faithful to him in every situation I go through. Sometimes I think my little hand is holding on tight to His, but really, He is holding tight and He never lets go.

However God promises in the bible that because Jesus was resurrected, those who believe in him will also be resurrected. So Jesus is good for now and for eternity.

John 11:25-26 Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; 26and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.

1 Corinthians 15:19 "If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men."

For This I Have Jesus
For the joys and for the sorrows

The best and worst of times
For this moment, for tomorrow
For all that lies behind
Fears that crowd around me
For the failure of my plans
For the dreams of all I hope to be
The truth of what I am

For this I have Jesus
For this I have Jesus
For this I have Jesus,
I have Jesus (Repeat)

For the tears that flow in secret
In the broken times
For the moments of elation
Or the troubled mind
For all the disappointments
Or the sting of old regrets
All my prayers and longings
That seem unanswered yet

For the weakness of my body
The burdens of each day
For the nights of doubt and worry
When sleep has fled away
Needing reassurance
And the will to start again
A steely-eyed endurance
The strength to fight and win

Graham Kendrick Copyright © 1994
Make Way Music, http://www.grahamkendrick.co.uk/
All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.